I was returning from Naliya, Kutch to Vapi on March 15th of 2008. I had a 3rd AC ticket for 9116 Bhuj-Bandra Shayaji Nagari Express train which leaves from Bhuj at 2230 Hrs.
Using my knowledge about travelling schedules going hayward, I started from Naliya at about 1530 Hrs. However, to my surprise I reached Bhuj at 1800Hrs.
As soon as I moved out of the Bus hordes of Rickshaw Wallahs jammed up to me pulling me here and there asking where I wished to move. "To Hell" I wish to move, I shouted.
There was one Muslim Guy, a middle aged, long beard and wearing a pukka Muslim round hat. He moved closer to me (Frankly, the three kindda people I hate the most are Biharis and Muslims and Rickshaw wallah's and a Muslim Rickshaw Wallah - God save me). He smiled and asked "Railway station"? I did'nt even looked at him.
I pulled my baggage and moved to the nearest 'Pan Wallah' and had a smoke. As soon as I paid for the cigarette, there he was again and asked me "Saab sirf chalish rupaiya de dena". Ok. I thought of saving 10 rupees (other Rickshaw Wallah's were charging Rupees 50.00).
The Rickshaw Wallah Picked up my luggage ( two full suitcases of about 40 Kgs each) and moved out of the Bus stand. I was trying to catch up with his speed with thoughts as wierd as what will I do if this Muslim Rickshaw Wallah disappear with my luggage?
He placed my luggage nicely and with care at the back hatch of the rickshaw. I looked into my watch. It was 1830 Hrs.
Just out of curiosity I asked Do you know some places nearby where I (or we) can hang out for about an hour or two? "Haan Saab" (Yes Sir) yahaan purane Mehel (palaces of Kings) auur Talaab (Natural Water Pool) hain, auur Mukbaraa bhi hain Raja ke(Kings Cemetry) he replied. OK, lets move then. "Saab paisa thoda jyaada hogaa". I knew damn Rickshaw Wallah's, they all find excuses to make money.
Anyways, I had to spend some time. Ok, start now. The rest two hours is all that had a lasting impression on me for that Rickshaw Wallah.
He took me to 'SharadBaug' Palace first - unfortunately that had closed at 1800 Hrs, then to
'Haji Mohammed's' cemetry.
As soon as our Rickshaw stopped near the cemetry, a charming little girl of about 5 years age came running towards the rickshaw and took the drivers seat. The cemetry was actaually near to the Rickshaw Wallah's home and the little charming girl was his daughter.
"Whats her name?" I asked. "Mehzabeen" he replied. Nice name I said.
She ran around the cemetry as a free butterfly without worries and pre occupations, guiding me through the Old Gates and Doors of the cemetry. I felt she was more happy because she got to meet her father mid-day (which otherwise might have been a dream for her as the "Rickshaw Wallah" would have been rerturning late night).
While we returned she took a joy ride sitting on his father's lap upto her home. "Papa Jaldi aanaa" - she mumbled out as the rickshaw sped away after dropping her.
Then we went to 'Pir' Dargaah on the top of a hillock and then to 'Aina Mahal'.
The Rickshaw Wallah was carrying around my luggage even without me asking for it, during the whole duration.
He even took time out to read his daily 'Namaaz' while I was busy clicking pictures of the 'Aina Mahal' for my Orkut Album.
"Now straight to the railway station" I said. We reached the station, he pulled out my luggage and said "Aise toh hum Do Soh rupaiye lete hain angrezon ko ghumane ke liye par aap dedh so de dena" (Usually, we charge Rupees 200 from foreign tourists but you can pay 150.00)
I did'nt had the change. So I went to the nearest road side hotel to get the change. All of a sudden the cute innocent face of "Mehzabeen" flashed through my memory. Quite innocent, lovely - absolutely fit for being my daughter.
I purchased a Big Cadbury Fruits and Nuts and moved near the Rickshaw. I paid the 150 bucks to the Rickshaw Wallah. "Good Night Sir" he said and was about to move. I handed over the chocolate and said - this is for Mehzabeen: bahut pyaari bachhi hai (quite a nice girl).
The Rickshaw wallah was taken by surprise. His eyes was full of emotions and I noticed that in shape of moisture in his eyes.
Rickshaw Wallah: Sir, kitne paise bante hain is chocolate ka main de deta hoon.
Myself: Rehene do - ye apke liye nahin, apki bachhi ke liye.
Rickshaw Wallah: Mere padosh ka number rakh lijiye. Mera naam Sayed.
I scribbled his number on my mobile's phone book.
God, till now I even didnt bothered to ask his name - I felt ashamed.
I saved rupees 10.00 spent 150 plus a chocolate worth rupees 100.00 .
Phir kabhi ayenge toh yaad kijiyegaa, I'll show you all the nice places around Kutch.
Zaroor, next time biwi (Mere Biwi bachhe humesah mere dimaag main rehte hain) ko bhi saath leke aaongaa. I left and he left.
The cute happy face of Mehzabeen would surely linger around in my memories for longer than the duration of the tour - I knew.
Monday, March 17, 2008
When Blogging is No Longer Fun!
I used to enjoy every bit of my blogging life until I decided to monetize it. :) Only then I realized that to get more opportunities to write advertisements, I need to have PR, heavy traffic or site visits, links and etc. So, I tried my best. I remember there was a day, when I didn't do anything else but applied in several directories and forums. I did all the tags , exchanged links and etc. as they said it will increase technorati and stuff.
So, in other words, the 'fun' in blogging diminished since I was already so serious in doing it..where it became "work". I would be so busy bloghopping because I 'needed' to have a lot of links and etc. It would have been better if I got a lot of opportunities or approved blogs from my 'work'. But nothing much happened except another for 3-4 sponspored posts after all the hard work ( in other words, naning kau ko). I also applied for other get paid to blog sites but there were no tasks available for me,.
And then the time came, when I got my tiny weeny PR1. So, I thought it was an opportunity for me to apply again for the 'best' get paid to post site (where I heard they have a lot of opportunities for bloggers). But then a few days later my PR went back to zero. So I thought that my application for the said site must be rejected again because of my zero PR. And just a few days ago, I received an email from them and said that my blog has been declined because of ..... lack of original content!..hahaha! Joker! then I thought, it must be because of the several tags, viral links, meme and etc. that I've done. I became sad a bit because I lost my chance of earning from that site.
So, in summary it was only when I decided to monetize my blog that I've felt these 'frustrations', 'discouragements' and etc..hehehe! not that deep, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say. My focus and motive has completely changed that's why. Maybe if I didn't decide to monetize my blog, I should have been happily blogging myself away without all these ups and downs.
I'm sure the next question in your mind right now would be : Would I be continuing to monetize my blog? And the answer would be Yes! But I think I will have to shift my motive now right back to where it once belong. I'm blogging because it's fun! It makes me express my thoughts, share my views and ideas and meet new friends. I'm not blogging just for the money. If I make that my main motive, it'll dampen my joy since, it'll create pressure for me..trying to let my blog make money when it's not yet in the capacity to do so. So, I resolved that when opportunities to make money come, I'll take it ..if not, then I won't have to try that hard to get it. No hard work and no pressures for me and then it'll continue to be fun!!
So, in other words, the 'fun' in blogging diminished since I was already so serious in doing it..where it became "work". I would be so busy bloghopping because I 'needed' to have a lot of links and etc. It would have been better if I got a lot of opportunities or approved blogs from my 'work'. But nothing much happened except another for 3-4 sponspored posts after all the hard work ( in other words, naning kau ko). I also applied for other get paid to blog sites but there were no tasks available for me,.
And then the time came, when I got my tiny weeny PR1. So, I thought it was an opportunity for me to apply again for the 'best' get paid to post site (where I heard they have a lot of opportunities for bloggers). But then a few days later my PR went back to zero. So I thought that my application for the said site must be rejected again because of my zero PR. And just a few days ago, I received an email from them and said that my blog has been declined because of ..... lack of original content!..hahaha! Joker! then I thought, it must be because of the several tags, viral links, meme and etc. that I've done. I became sad a bit because I lost my chance of earning from that site.
So, in summary it was only when I decided to monetize my blog that I've felt these 'frustrations', 'discouragements' and etc..hehehe! not that deep, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say. My focus and motive has completely changed that's why. Maybe if I didn't decide to monetize my blog, I should have been happily blogging myself away without all these ups and downs.
I'm sure the next question in your mind right now would be : Would I be continuing to monetize my blog? And the answer would be Yes! But I think I will have to shift my motive now right back to where it once belong. I'm blogging because it's fun! It makes me express my thoughts, share my views and ideas and meet new friends. I'm not blogging just for the money. If I make that my main motive, it'll dampen my joy since, it'll create pressure for me..trying to let my blog make money when it's not yet in the capacity to do so. So, I resolved that when opportunities to make money come, I'll take it ..if not, then I won't have to try that hard to get it. No hard work and no pressures for me and then it'll continue to be fun!!
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Perfect Wife
How to Be The Almost Perfect Wife
"If you could tell someone how to be the almost wife, what would you tell her?"
Of course, it's not easy for husbands to open up and share their feelings. After all, they're men.
Allow me to share with you "Three Top Tips for Pleasing Your Husband." :
1. Believe in him
More than anything, a man needs to know he has your support - that you believe in him 100%. Alan, 29, on his first day of marriage wrote:
"Believe in me,believe in me,believe in me."
Will your husband always succeed? Will things work out exactly as planned? Regardless of the stumbling blocks your husband may encounter, he needs to know he still has your support.
As Ed, 47, married 25 years, so openly requests: "Be my cheerleader. Believe that I have the talent to achieve my dreams, even if it takes longer than I ever imagined."
Married 42 years, Roland 64, offers this sage advice: "Listen attentively to your husband's dreams and aspirations. Even if you think they're unreachable, humor him. Support him. Maybe even get excited with him. Your husband will love and appreciate you because you encouraged - rather than discouraged - him. Later in life, a husband wants to look at his wife and say, 'Honey, you were with me.' Not 'If only… '"
Finally, consider this bit of wisdom from Jim, 80, a widower after 53 years of marriage: "Men are just boys who need attention and reassurance - pretty much all the time. They need you to sit on their laps, kiss them for no reason and assure them that you love them."
2. Be accepting
Charles, 38, requests: "Accept your husband as the man he is, instead of wishing you could change things here and there." Bill, 47, adds: "Stop trying to control and change us so much. We're not 'diamonds in the rough' - we're men. The same men you fell in love with and married in the first place."What's a good way to think about just how "accepting" you are? The next time your spouse wants to do something that you think is stupid, ridiculous, or a complete waste of time or money, see if you say the words: "Honey, go for it!"
For example:
"It's a fact: Every husband needs at least 2 hours a week on the couch in front of the TV - without having to answer any questions. Just to veg out." - Ray, 39, married 7 years
"When I go out to play sports or be with the guys, try to understand you're giving me something I really need. Women want flowers? Guys want to have time with each other without having to justify themselves for being away a few hours." - Eric, 28, married 6 years
"If I want to go to bed later than you it doesn't mean I don't love you. It means I want to go to bed later than you." - Neil, 47, married 12 years
"Accept that I'm not 'escaping' to work: I'm going there because I need to work. Besides, when I feel better about my work, I feel better about everything else." - Eric
3. Be gentle
Does being accepting of your husband mean you can't disagree with him or offer a "course correction" now and then? Not at all. But husbands - as "manly" as they may appear - need for their spouses to be gentle about it. As Charlie, 28, married 11 years, explains: "If you think I'm wrong, try to guide me to where you think I should be. Don't beat me up and drag me there."Believe it or not, most husbands generally are trying their best - no matter how wrongheaded their actions may appear. So try to be patient, merciful and kind. "And limit your criticisms," says Ben, 81, "to things that really matter."Perhaps Terry, married 23 years, sums it up best: "Be a friend who is there to lend support, but still cares enough to confront me when I make a fool of myself." Questions for reflections:
On a rating of 0 to 10, how strongly would your husband say you believe in him?
When was the last time you told your husband you were proud of him?
When was the last time you said to your husband "Go for it!" when you're really thinking: Why would anyone want to do that!?"
On a rating of 0 to 10, how gentle are you when offering advice or a "course correction" to your husband?
"If you could tell someone how to be the almost wife, what would you tell her?"
Of course, it's not easy for husbands to open up and share their feelings. After all, they're men.
Allow me to share with you "Three Top Tips for Pleasing Your Husband." :
1. Believe in him
More than anything, a man needs to know he has your support - that you believe in him 100%. Alan, 29, on his first day of marriage wrote:
"Believe in me,believe in me,believe in me."
Will your husband always succeed? Will things work out exactly as planned? Regardless of the stumbling blocks your husband may encounter, he needs to know he still has your support.
As Ed, 47, married 25 years, so openly requests: "Be my cheerleader. Believe that I have the talent to achieve my dreams, even if it takes longer than I ever imagined."
Married 42 years, Roland 64, offers this sage advice: "Listen attentively to your husband's dreams and aspirations. Even if you think they're unreachable, humor him. Support him. Maybe even get excited with him. Your husband will love and appreciate you because you encouraged - rather than discouraged - him. Later in life, a husband wants to look at his wife and say, 'Honey, you were with me.' Not 'If only… '"
Finally, consider this bit of wisdom from Jim, 80, a widower after 53 years of marriage: "Men are just boys who need attention and reassurance - pretty much all the time. They need you to sit on their laps, kiss them for no reason and assure them that you love them."
2. Be accepting
Charles, 38, requests: "Accept your husband as the man he is, instead of wishing you could change things here and there." Bill, 47, adds: "Stop trying to control and change us so much. We're not 'diamonds in the rough' - we're men. The same men you fell in love with and married in the first place."What's a good way to think about just how "accepting" you are? The next time your spouse wants to do something that you think is stupid, ridiculous, or a complete waste of time or money, see if you say the words: "Honey, go for it!"
For example:
"It's a fact: Every husband needs at least 2 hours a week on the couch in front of the TV - without having to answer any questions. Just to veg out." - Ray, 39, married 7 years
"When I go out to play sports or be with the guys, try to understand you're giving me something I really need. Women want flowers? Guys want to have time with each other without having to justify themselves for being away a few hours." - Eric, 28, married 6 years
"If I want to go to bed later than you it doesn't mean I don't love you. It means I want to go to bed later than you." - Neil, 47, married 12 years
"Accept that I'm not 'escaping' to work: I'm going there because I need to work. Besides, when I feel better about my work, I feel better about everything else." - Eric
3. Be gentle
Does being accepting of your husband mean you can't disagree with him or offer a "course correction" now and then? Not at all. But husbands - as "manly" as they may appear - need for their spouses to be gentle about it. As Charlie, 28, married 11 years, explains: "If you think I'm wrong, try to guide me to where you think I should be. Don't beat me up and drag me there."Believe it or not, most husbands generally are trying their best - no matter how wrongheaded their actions may appear. So try to be patient, merciful and kind. "And limit your criticisms," says Ben, 81, "to things that really matter."Perhaps Terry, married 23 years, sums it up best: "Be a friend who is there to lend support, but still cares enough to confront me when I make a fool of myself." Questions for reflections:
On a rating of 0 to 10, how strongly would your husband say you believe in him?
When was the last time you told your husband you were proud of him?
When was the last time you said to your husband "Go for it!" when you're really thinking: Why would anyone want to do that!?"
On a rating of 0 to 10, how gentle are you when offering advice or a "course correction" to your husband?
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